Welcome to the show, my name is Jon Stewart.
And let me welcome you, actually, to the first of what could turn into a shitload of online shows as we hunker down to endure the writer’s guild strike.
The strike officially began today at 12:01 am pacific time.
Picket lines are expected in Hollywood and New York. Hopefully, not in front of my studio… Now, the thing you need to understand here is that these are not a group of people like, say, the Teamsters. This is an entirely different type of people on strike here… these are writers… from… Hollywood… It could be the only picket line around with valet parking and a full open bar.
Now, you may be asking yourself, “What can I do to show my support as well as kill time during the suckage that will most certainly be an inevitable result of a prolonged strike?
We go now to our newly appointed WGA Strike Correspondent John Hodgman, who replaces the outgoing – John Oliver, who was replaced when his “people” stopped returning our calls.
So, John, what should the viewers at home do during the strike?
It’s very simple Jon – they should stop watching television.
Really? Completely stop watching all television?
That’s correct.
And how, exactly, will that help?
Think about it Jon. The networks are given money from the advertisers for getting people to watch their advertisements on television. They do this by presenting entertaining programming, or in the case of Fox, mind-numbing stupidity, and I’m not just talking about their cable news channel. If no one is watching, the advertisers won’t want to pay the networks for the advertising space, and the networks won’t make any money. Maybe that will get those bastard executives to negotiate!
That reasoning does make some sense, I must admit. But do you have any advice on what people can do while they’re not watching TV?
Well, I do have a few ideas, but we want to make sure there isn’t a baby boom nine months from now… So I suggest everyone read my blog.
You have a blog?
I could start one.
Why don’t they just come here or the Colboard?
They could do that, I suppose. As long as they don’t watch TV!! Stay strong!! Fight the establishment!! And most importantly… don’t just fuck each other out of boredom. Remember, the strike will eventually end, but that little zygote you make because you’re jonesing for Hugh Laurie will eventually want a college fund and a car.
Good advice… John Hodgman everyone…
_________________
Heroes: POOT, Angryrose, MDRednek, Mira8, Meaculpa, TraceyUK, Peter
"Lefty" Award Winners: Tracey, POOT
JSX T-Shirts - CLICK HERE
